Pizza Man

I know I'm not really good with math but I know that $9.99 plus $9.99 and the cost of a 2 liter Coke does not equal $26.12. Am I right? Unless that Coke cost six bucks.

I ordered pizza tonight from I won't say where and when I called I asked about the special. They had a special pizza for $9.99 plus a two topping pizza for $9.99. So I ordered the special and another pizza and a 2 liter Coke. Then she told me it would be twenty six bucks. "OK" I said as I was trying to do the math in my head. I didn't ask how much the Coke was. So I hung the phone up and thought about it . . . they must add a fuel surcharge or something. Seems like a lot. Especially when you tip the delivery guy $3. So really the pizza ended up being $29. Good grief! That's not the best part. The best part is that my girls, ages 6 and 3, thought the pizza delivery dude was cute.

I know! I'm thinking the same thing "They are too young to think that". My 3 year old was the first to say something. Of course they were the first to the door when the door bell rang and my 3 year old opened the front door. I made it to the door as fast as I could so I could curb any questionable remarks from my kids. As I paid the guy, my kids did their best to get his attention which he gave by smiling and laughing at them as they swung on the front door and did somersaults over the back of the couch. When he left things got interesting. Here's how the conversation between my little girls went:

"I love that guy!" said A2 (who is three)
"Me too, he's cute!" replied A1
"Yeah, he's cute." A2 agreed
"Oh, he's so cute." A1 continued

And the conversation went on so I had to walk out of the room.

What!?!?! Did I just witness my kids having a conversation about a boy? Oh my, this is way too early for things like this to be happening. Really, A2 has already gotten in trouble for trying to kiss a boy at pre-school. These are babies, people! My kids are flirting with a pizza delivery guy and talking about how cute he is. Sometimes A1 will tell me about how she and a little boy at school will walk around the track that goes around the playground and talk at after school. I guess it could be worse . . . I'm sure it will get worse but I'm just not ready for this. I don't think I ever will be.

Secret Vice

My favorite thing to do after I put the kids to bed is fix me a big bowl of vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup. Yummy. I do use the Blue Bunny no sugar added vanilla so I don't feel so bad. But then I have to balance it out with a little Hersey's chocolate syrup. OK, a lot. I always get more than I intended to. It looks like I don't have enough - who can eat just plain vanilla - and I just keep slinging more on. And a little more. And one more drop just to make sure. Kind of defeats the purpose of the no sugar added, huh? Keep in mind, I don't do this every night.

What I hate is when I am trying to savor every sweet, chocolaty vanilla bite and my kids won't stay in the bed. This always seems to happen when I have made my delectable snack and I have just taken the first mouth watering bite. It's like they know that I am eating this behind their backs. So, they get out of bed and sneak to where ever I am with some excuse as to why they are not where they are supposed to be. I know, you are saying "Wait until those critters go to sleep! Haven't you learned your lesson?" I agree with you, you just don't understand, I can't wait. I have to have it now. It's so gooood.

So what do I do about this? Well, first I try to hide my bowl and keep my mouth closed so they don't smell chocolate on my breath. They are girls so if chocolate is involved, they know it! I do this as I am trying to shoo them out of my space and back towards their beds. This my friend, does not work. "What are you eating?" is always the first thing they say. Of course my answer is the same answer any smart mom would say "Nothing" as my voice goes up an octave. So I calmly escort them back to bed and tell them good night and all that good stuff over again then run back to my sweet treat. It never fails, someone gets up a second time. Not so nice mama anymore. This time I usually get a little agitated as I envision my frozen secret melting into a puddle of slimy vanilla and chocolate swirl. Most of the time I yell, "What are you doing? You are supposed to be in bed!" My chocolate is drowning in my vanilla! "Get back in bed." Then I take them back to bed and tuck them in tight - that outta hold 'em another minute or two. Usually, when my kids get out of bed after I have already put them to bed, I don't walk with them back to their rooms and put them back in bed. They go on their own. However, when there is the risk of melting ice cream involved, I have to make sure they are actually getting back in bed.

Usually by the time I actually get to eat my ice cream it has turned into a soupy, drippy bowl of slush. Yes, I still eat it and no it is not the same. All I ask is to be able to enjoy my secret vice and not be interrupted. In order for this to happen, I have to have restraint and patience. If I can restrain myself from jerking the freezer door open and diving in as soon as I bound out of their rooms, I may be able to accomplish just that. Patience. My Grandma always had this little picture frame that sat on her kitchen table and in it was something that she had cross stitched that said "Lord give me patience and I want it right now." That is so me right now!

So, here I am once more slurping soupy ice cream and writing a blog. Yum.

Shoe Check

I really don't understand. We have had the same routine for going on 2 years now. Get up, eat breakfast, get your clothes on, brush your teeth, make sure your book bag is packed and ready to go, bring me something to fix your hair with. OK, we are talking about the kids here. Still I have to tell them every morning what to do. I get them up, make their breakfast (you know they can't eat the same thing that would be too easy - they each want something different), then I have to tell them what to do next.

It's a never ending battle. The other morning we were going through our normal routine with the kids acting like they've never gone anywhere before and me not controlling my emotions very well. I'm getting better about that. I have started picking out their clothes the night before and I make sure A1 has everything packed and ready to go the night before also. This does make the morning go a lot easier. But it's when I have to tell them common sense things like put your clothes on you are going to school, or brush your teeth you just ate breakfast, that really makes me steam. To make matters worse someone always miss places something important or can't find a shoe that's right in front of them. Or spills something on their clean clothes and you have to find something else for them to wear. This all should be very simple. Should be. It's not.

Hubby goes to work really early so I can't ask him for help. It's all me. I have to be at work at a certain time. Everyday. I have to take the kids to school. Everyday. Different schools at opposite sides of the county. I may be exaggerating a little here but they are in different towns. So you see, we are on a time schedule (time crunch is more like it). I really don't know why it takes 15 minutes to eat a pop tart. Of course the kids have no concept of time. I think this is where the problem comes in.

Oh well, that's a different story. Maybe one day I can report that my kids finally understand that in order for me to keep my job so they have somewhere to live, food to eat, and clothes to wear, we have to leave the house by a certain time so I can get to work on time. We are far from this I'm afraid. Most every morning I have to check and make sure A2 isn't wearing the same socks she wore yesterday. I have to inspect A1's mouth to make sure she brushed her teeth (for longer than 30 seconds). When it comes time for me to fix their hair, there is always a fight . . . "she's got the hair bow I want to wear" . . . "I want pig tails" . . . "you're pulling my hair" . . . and my favorite from A2 . . . "ME FIRST".

You can imagine that I am not surprised that as of Wednesday of this week I now have to inspect my children to make sure they have their shoes on before they get in the car. Yes, you read me right, we have to make a shoe inspection. As we were walking out the door Wednesday morning, already late mind you, the kids had their jackets and book bags on and I was pulling the door closed and A1 frantically yells "My shoes!" What? I said "What about them?" I may have yelled that. "I forgot to put my shoes on!" Uuugghhh!! Are you kidding me!? How do you forget your shoes? Just ask A1.

So everyone, if you can't remember to put your shoes on before you leave the house, don't feel bad . . . my kids can't either.

A la mode

Well, here I am again "catching up" on blogging.  I have been really busy lately.  So the time that I do have when I could be blogging, I'm being lazy or reading something.  So, I don't have too much to say.  

Of course my kids are always doing something funny so I guess I could write about that.  Here's something . . . last night we had a pastor from our church over.  I didn't give my kids the whole "you better be on your best behavior or else" speech.  It wouldn't have done any good any, plus kids will be kids no matter what.  Well, apparently hubby did.  Wasted breath - all I can say. However, it go really well!  We had fun, enjoyed our company and the girls were pretty good. We had a few moments.  A2 talked all evening.  After every bite she took, she said something. You can imagine that was lovely.  Plus she sat right beside the pastor.  I was going to sit beside her but she really wanted him to sit beside her.  We warned him that drinks are most likely to spontaneously tip over.  In your lap or plate.  He was up to the challenge and we made it through the entire night with out a spill.  Praise the Lord. 

There was one incident later in the evening that shocked us.  Suprise, suprise.  After we had our dessert and the girls went to brush their teeth, I told them to go to their rooms and put their jammies on.  That's really no biggie.  All was going well, teeth were brushed and the girls were in their rooms, when A2 popped out from the hallway stark naked.  Yep.  Not a stich of clothing on her 3 year old body.  As soon as I saw her - mommy radar was on so I saw her before anyone else, I jumped up and screched "What are you doing?".  "I need a pull up" she replied in a sweet little voice.  This was completely my fault.  We had the pull ups stashed in a canvas bin under an end table in the living room.  I failed to get one out and take it to her room to avoid such incident.  So, she was going to get one.  Oh well.  Guess that really shouldn't have been a suprise.  Actually earlir that day I said a little prayer to myself that my children would keep their clothes on in front of our company.  Well, it wasn't really a prayer, more like a fleeting thought.  I guess that's God's humor!

Our evening ended well and the kids asked if he was going to come to dinner every night.  Oh, I almost forgot.  A1 said something funny, too.  I got up to serve the brownies (from a mix) and I asked if anyone wanted their brownie a la mode.  A1 got really excited and said "I do!  I do!"  I said "you don't even know what a la mode means do you?"  Very seriuosly she replied "Yes I do! It means a lot."  Ha, she wishes!

Light Sabers!

I think I may have said before how obsessed A1 is with Star Wars. She has seen all the movies and LOOOOOVVVVEEEEESSSS them. Yes, A1 is a girl. A2 watches them as well and I really didn't think she was that into the movies until recently. A2 is extremely cute and sarcastic, and she's only 3. Lately she has been doing the funniest thing, she'll look at you and her eyes will get HUGE and she'll whisper something like "Mommy, Doctor Bader is behind you!." She calls Darth Vader, Doctor Bader. How cute is that? She also calls the light sabers life savers. So funny.

So now both of my kids recite lines from Star Wars and when they watch the movies they say the lines along with the movie. A2 hums the theme song and dances around to the music as the movie is on and A1 had taught her self how to play the theme song on the piano. A2's favorite line in the movie is when Han Solo says to Chewbaca "Laugh it up fuzz ball." She says that all the time. A1 draws pictures of all the characters which are actually pretty good and now A2 has started doing the same. I'll have to figure out how to put some more pics on my blog so you can see what they draw.

A1 was Princess Leia for Halloween and I have to say that that costume has gotten a lot of wear. It was well worth the 30 bucks I paid for it. It was the white dress, belt and a wig. They take turns playing different characters when they play dress up. A1 used to be Princess Leia a lot and A2 has taken an interest in being her too. Well, the costume is waaayy too big for her so she improvises and makes her own costume. She wears a white slip with a scarf tied around her waist and her snow boots. It is so cute. The cutest part is when she wears the wig with it. Her head is just a tad too small for it. Sometimes she puts a pair of pantyhose on her head if she can't find the wig. I try not to laugh at her because then she takes it off.

Another outfit they wear is something I am sure A1 came up with. In one of the Star Wars (A1 can tell you exactly which one. She can also name all the characters and planets on Star Wars) movies Princess a prisoner of Jaba the Hut. In this movie she wears a bikini type out fit and is chained up. So, when they are playing this Princess Leia character they really use their imaginations. I was shocked the first time I saw this new dress up outfit. Let's just say it could be deemed inappropriate. They put on a skirt (not so bad) and tie scarfs on their arms for the chains. Well, for the top part of the outfit they take their shirts off and take a pair of pantyhose and cross the legs of them across their chest so that the legs of the pantyhose are covering their "ta-ta's", as A1 puts it, and then they tie it behind their backs. Very creative. Not really appropriate for a 6 and 3 year old but creative.

One day, I was cleaning up in the kitchen and the girls were playing in their bed rooms. Their talks had been centered around Star Wars all day long so I shouldn't have been surprised when A2 wanted to play Star Wars. All was quiet when I heard "A2, let's play Star Wars! This can be our light saber." I heard a strange "buzz buzz buzz" so I went to check it out. Like I said, my kids are creative. A2 had brought her battery powered tooth brush into the living room and was waiving it around like a light saber. Before I knew it, they had their toothbrushes out and were fighting each other. This happened before Christmas so we thought that Santa should bring "real" light saber for Christmas. So he did. He also brought the original Star Wars trilogy. The light sabers are really neat and really big. The light saber part springs out from the handle and it lights up and makes all the sounds. Left in the hands of a 3 year old and 6 year old they can be quite dangerous. I don't think Santa thought that through too well. These light sabers have been the culprit of many bruises, knocked over lamps and drinks and probably added to the many scratches on the walls and doors. Things become very entertaining when the girls decide to be Luke and Darth Vader in the scene where Darth Vader cuts Luke's arm off. Or should I say Doctor Vader . . .

Where Have I Been?

Well, here. I've just been lazy. Here are my excuses as to why I have not blogged lately. . .

1.) L.A.Z.Y
2.) I fell and broke my toe (explanation to come at a later blog). You may ask yourself, "what does a toe have to do with typing?" A lot.
3.) Sick. I had a headache for about 3 weeks. I'll explain that one later, too.
4.) Out of town. Hubby and I celebrated our anniversary the other weekend and we went out of town.

So, there you go. It hasn't been that I haven't had anything to write. As a matter of fact, I have tons of stuff to catch up on. I'll get around to it. But, while I'm here I guess I'll catch up on a little bit.

I am at home today with A2. She is sick. It started on Sunday when she woke up at 11:30 p.m. complaining of a tummy ache. She was burning up. I took her to the potty to see if she needed to do #2 (sorry for the details but it really happened) and as I was trying to get her prepared for the potty she puked all over my feet. Y.U.C.K. So, hubby was off on Monday and he stayed home with her. We were hoping she had a stomach virus and it would pass but it is now Tuesday and she still has a fever, no more pucking, and she now has a sore throat. Great. It's probably strep. All you have to do is say Strep Throat and I get it. We are going to the Dr. this afternoon. the earliest appointment they has was at 1:30. That's crazy!

I have been able to get a lot done this a.m. I straightened my desk in my room, (it was a disaster), I ordered my pre paid magazine subscription that I have had for about 1 month, emailed people that I needed to get in touch with. I tried to order some books for A1 from the order forms they send home from school (you can do it online now!) only to realize that my debit card had expired! Aren't they supposed to send you a new one to replace the expired one? So I called the bank and yes, they do automatically send you a new card. Well, where's mine I ask? Looks like it was returned to the processing center because the address wasn't right. Are you serious? You mean I get a bank statement every month, but when you send me a new debit card, the address is wrong! My street name was misspelled. Good thing I called, were they going to try to get in touch with me to verify my address? Probably not. So, I have to go for another 5-7 business days with out a debit card because the bank misspelled my street name. I think they should rush it to me but that's my opinion.

Let's see, what else have I done? Well, I cleaned out all our junk mail from the cabinet in my desk. Now I have to pay some bills, load the dish washer and start a load of laundry. I may even have time to organize my work bench in the garage. Better get going!

Star WHAT?

A1 is really smart. She loves school. I hope she stays like that. She started reading when she was 4 and she knew how to spell a lot of words before she started kindergarten. She knew all the sight words that kindergartners need to know by the end of the year when she started kindergarten. She is really good at sounding out words and spelling them. The other day she was making a chore list for herself and she wanted to write exercise on it. Why? I don't know. No matter what I said to her I could not persuade her that exercising is not a chore. So she wrote it. Exersize. Close enough.

Hubby and I were going through her Friday folder from school and looking at all of her work that she had done for the week and came across some really interesting things. First of all, she is a very good artist. Some things she draws you wouldn't believe a 6 year old did them. There was picture in her folder of her and A2 on the swing set in our back yard, which was excellent, and she had written some sentences about the picture. They read: I wint to the playground. My sister wint with me. We had fun.

Simple enough. Honest spelling mistake. Then we read a classroom rule that she had made up. It said something about if there is a "dore" you shouldn't be "runing" because you "myit" run into the "dore". Hubby and I DIED laughing. How funny is that. OK, leaving out the n in running is understandable. Even spelling the word "might" is hard because it is a word with silent "gh" sound. But she has known how to spell "door" since before she started kindergarten. I guess we didn't read enough this summer. However, I was thinking, we do live in the south and we do have southern accents and are around southern accents all the time so when some people say words like "went" it probably does sound like "wint". Those are papers we will keep forever and laugh about when she gets older.

Well, there is one other word that she really screwed up. Lately she had become obsessed with Indiana Jones and Star Wars. We have watched all the Indy movies except the new one and now we are watching Star Wars. We probably watched the first SW a dozen times this weekend. Like I said, she's a great artist and she LOVES to draw so she drew a picture of R2-D2. I was putting a movie in the DVD player and she wanted to show me her picture. I glanced at it and saw her cute little R2-D2 and she pointed out to me that she wrote "Star Wars" a the top of the paper. "Oh that's great A1" I say. So she ran to show daddy. Hubby calls to me from the bedroom, "Hey mommy, did you see A1's picture?" "Yeah, It's good" I yell back. "No, did you see how A1 spelled Star Wars?" he asked. Again, I said "I saw the picture, it is good." "Did you read it?" hubby says.

I walk in the room to see what he's talking about, pick up the picture and actually read the words this time. Like the first time I saw it, it had a really cute picture of R2-D2 on it only this time I read what it said and about choked. It simply said "Star Whors". Hubby and I were trying so hard to hold back our laughs that we were sputtering. I had to walk out of the room to compose myself. I came back and told her that she did a good job sounding out the word "war" but it wasn't spelled that way. Needless to say, I made her change it. I don't want anything sitting around my house that says "Star Whors" on it. What would people think?