Muffins in the Morning

So, this is the first chance I have had to sit down and actually type something! I'm not sure how much I'll get to write considering I have to keep jumping up to save a life and it's kinda hard to concentrate while kid shows are blaring on the T.V.

This morning started off OK. The kids were somewhat calm and so was I. I made muffins (from a mix) for breakfast, all the while imagining I was Betty Crocker. Or was it Martha White mix? Thinking to myself, would it really be that hard to make muffins from scratch? Yes. Too much mess. Would take too long. Everyone was too hungry to wait for the muffins so they ate cereal and now I have about 10 muffins sitting over there begging me to eat them. I will, later.

I'm not really sure when the somewhat quiet morning took a turn for the worse. Was it when my 6 year old wouldn't let her 3 year old sister into her room? Could've been. Or maybe it was when the 3 year old threw a boiled egg across the kitchen which busted open spilling yellow crumbs all over the place. No, that was just the beginning. See, we have an obsession with lipstick ( the 3 year old). Every morning when I drop her off at play school she has to put lipstick on. It's really lip gloss but she can call it whatever she wants to. If I forget to put it in my pocket before we go into school and I try to leave with out the application of the shiny sticky substance then emerges the very hysterical side of my drama filled daughter. I have to peel her off of me just to get out the door. There are several tubes of lip gloss or chap stick in the "junk drawer" of the kitchen. You know you have one, too.

Well, that's what she wanted. So, husband would only let her get one. Everyone knows that toddlers have to have two of whatever it is, one for each hand. The screaming began. What fun. She kept trying to get into the drawer to get more lipstick and my husband stood there blocking the drawer. The screaming got louder. I looked over at them and noticed one of those cabinet locks that you use to hook two cabinet knobs together so the child can't open the doors, hanging on the drawer pull. Sometimes I have to laugh at the things that my husband does. It was just hanging on the drawer pull, not hooked to anything else, and before I thought about it I said "What's that going to do?" "Sssshhhh" he said. Oh my goodness, my husband thinks he's going to trick his little girl into thinking that the drawer is locked. I almost laughed out loud. Well, I guess it could work. It did for about 20 seconds. Then he left for the gym and I was stuck with screamer and meanie. I really don't care if she uses a whole tube of chap stick in one morning or not. Whatever will keep her quiet. Most of the time she only puts it on her face. So I let her get another tube. This time it was lip gloss. "Want some" she says while pointing the stick dangerously close to my glasses. That would be something to clean off. "No thank you" I said. That was the end of that. So I thought.

As I sat down to check my email, I happened to look over in the direction of the drawer and catch, just in time, my 3 year old spitting out what looked like a little white pill. Oh no, did she get into some medicine?!?!?! I don't think I've moved so fast in my life. I jumped out of the chair and somehow managed to get my laptop in a safe position on the end table and was in front of her in 2 seconds. Stunned, she stood there not making a sound as I squeezed her cute round cheeks and stuck my fingers into her little mouth swiping around like a mad woman looking for anything else that resembled a pill. Nothing. "Do you have anything in your mouth?" I yelled. Not a sound. I asked again. Same answer. No need to get excited Mom, it was only a tiny mint. By then I smelled it. You know what. Thank goodness I hadn't taken her pull up off of her yet and replaced them with Dora or princess panties. "Do you have a stinky in your pants?" I asked. No answer. Well, I had to look and there it was. "I want my Daddy!" she cries. Little did she know that I wanted her Daddy, too. Maybe he would've smelled it first.

After that was taken care of, I told her to go get some underware and put them on. She came back with pants, it's 95 degrees outside, and no underwear. I sent her back and she came back in bare bottom with pants and undies in hand so my 6 year old saw this as an opportunity to punch her in the backside. The bare backside. Why? I don't know. Are there any explanations for the majority of the things our kids do? I don't think so. However, we could take some notes and learn to seize an opportunity when one is presented to us. I don't mean punching people. After that ceased and everyone was properly, although miss matched and not appropriately for the weather, dressed, the screaming stopped and they sat down on opposite couches. The little one had all her "kids" ( stuffed animals) and blankets tucked around and over her, the 6 year old behind the cushions on the back of the couch which she's not supposed to do, and all was quiet. For about 5 minutes.

With an explosive burst of energy, stuffed teddy bears, baby dolls, and blankets went flying across the living room. The peace was broken. Or so I thought. Turns out that she wanted to make a tent with the blankets instead. "Mom, this not stay berry good". Well, now I have to go make a tent with blankets. At least everyone is still quiet.