Olympics

Yes, the (summer) Olympics are back! Who watched to opening ceremony this weekend? Live? I did!! Oh yes, I was up. I watched the opening ceremony and it was awesome. Although I'm not sure I remember everything. I stayed the weekend with my sister who had twins 2 weeks ago. I have 2 kids but I had them at different times and they are totally grown out of the up all night and diaper stages. So, I was thrown back in the baby game with a ferocity. This confirmed that I do not want any more kids. I thought I wanted one more (hubby doesn't). I remember the sleepless nights and all that but when you are actually living it x's 2, it works like birth control magic. I heart sleep!

By Sunday, they had already been through about 176 diapers and they have only been home 1 week. That's not counting the diapers when they were in the hospital for a week. That's like 25 diapers per day. Yes, I used a calculator. I have no brain cells left. I'm writing this and really not sure if it makes any sense at all.

Let's continue. We were up with babies when the opening ceremony started and watched the whole thing. Well, what we could. As the 2008 Olympics started, we were full throttle in the Parenting Olympics all night marathon. 3 Adults vs. 2 Babies. Babies won. Adults, negative in the point department. I was completely exhausted. I felt really bad Saturday night because it was really hard for me to wake up. Sometimes I didn't wake up and I felt really guilty that I was comatose at various periods during the weekend. I can't imagine how my sis and brother-in-law feel. Those babies are so stinking cute.

What's really crazy was that while we were so tired at night when we had to get up, we were fully awake during the day. I could not take a nap! That is until I got home on Sunday. Then, during a really great nap, A2 yells in my ear "MOMMY, YOUR PHONE IS RINGING!!" well, it sounded more like "MOMMY, YOUR PONE SIS WINGIN." I jumped up and looked at the number. It was my Grandma's nursing home. That worried me. Everything was OK, they just wanted someone to talk to her because she had been trying to escape all day. She has Alzheimer's and doesn't know why she is there. She wants to go home. Long story short, she still didn't understand why she was there, even after I explained it to her, and wanted to go home. It's not even a nursing home, it's an assisted living facility. She lives in a really nice home with 5 other old ladies and a care giver there at all times. The care giver makes all their meals, does laundry, gives them their meds, showers and everything. The residents don't have to do a thing! It's like a permanent vacation. I tried to tell her this. My Mom talked to her as well. Hopefully she won't try to leave again.

Back to the Olympics. For all you parents or parents to be out there, here is a list of Olympic events you may or may not be required to participate in.

Parenting Olympic Categories:

Swimming
100 meter freestyle - The stretch of crying child and parent searching to find anything to quiet said child.
400 meter freestyle - The longer stretch of crying child with extra screams, frantic parents, and really bad diapers. Just trying to keep your head above water at this point.

Gymnastics
floor exercises - The art of picking up bottles, burp rags, and toys from the floor. The graceful search for missing passies or the source of a funky smell. Removal of unidentifiable substances from floors.
balance beam - The practice of standing on one foot with baby in hand and picking up a blanket with the other foot, bringing it to your free hand then wrapping baby in blanket.
uneven bars - Running with one shoe on to catch toddler escaping from house. Weaving your way past wooden blocks, Lego's, and magic wands in the middle of the night with out stepping on anything.

Track
100m Hurdles - Jumping, while traveling at lightening speed, over anything separating you from your child who may or may not be in immediate danger.
discus throw - The act of tossing a diaper to your husband with pinpoint accuracy and perfect timing.
marathon - Continuous night of crying, feeding, burping, diaper changing, crying (you), feeding, burping, diaper changing, etc. The race to see who can stay awake the longest, you, your spouse or the baby.
relay - Passing the child (or children) from one parent to another for diaper change in order to make a bottle before the baby realizes your finger has no nourishment.

Just remember, kids always win but parents deserve the gold medals.